coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
