and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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