btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
