shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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