He kissed a someone with a penis
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
