i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need a beard to bite.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
