I think my vagina is haunted
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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