we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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