Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm having to shit out rocks
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