Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
