What a fucking waste of an outfit
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
