u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
