She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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