But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
