I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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