Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You have to summon your inner elephant
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
