This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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