After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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