I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Found your dick twin last night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
