i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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