I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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