She is in my trunk
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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