hotel room ftw
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
