some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
