Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
