Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Still dying that you shit outside
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize