just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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