Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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