you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Everyone says I win the strip club
Randomize
