hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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