Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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