I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
