Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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