I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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