just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
