i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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