this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
All I want is dick and wine.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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