now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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