And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
