On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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