It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
