I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
