i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
