I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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