I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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