every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
