Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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