So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
