false alarm. still invincible.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
