I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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