last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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