Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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