I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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