I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize