Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
