Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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