wakey wakey hands off snakey
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
