Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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