I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
