you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
