Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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